Life after being Looked After

Everybody really bigs up turning 18. You can buy yourself your first legal pint, or vote, it’s the point in life where you’re seen as coming of age, in the UK anyway. For a Young Person living at home the build up to your 18th is probably filled with nothing but excitement and maybe a little bit of frustration that it doesn’t seem to be coming quick enough. For me, the thought of turning 18 brought me out in a cold sweat. I knew that as soon as I turned 18 my life would change drastically, once again. I’d discussed the transition fleetingly with my Community Care Worker, but not much. I don’t think any amount of transition work could have prepared me for what was coming though.

I’ve heard the change from Looked after to care leaver being described as "falling off a cliff edge" hundreds of times. That is exactly how it is. You go from being in a somewhat protective bubble, having a Social Worker, Independent Reviewing Officer and maybe multiple other workers like a Community Care Worker, CAMHS Professional and whoever else. Then in what feels like overnight, the bubble is burst. All those people have gone, and you’ve crashed into the ground, left to pick up the pieces by yourself. I was living independently before turning 18 and I couldn’t imagine the added pressure of moving on from your placement with everything else going on at that time.

I struggled in many aspects when I became an ‘adult’. Not only was I trying to run a home and take care of myself physically, I was trying to navigate my way through mental health challenges too. I did have a Leaving Care worker, but that contact was much more limited than what I’d had with my Social Worker. I’d always struggled to ask for help, but it had been there if I’d really needed it. Now it felt like it was gone and I was alone again. There was no safety net for me to fall back on. I had no choice but to get through it.

Eventually, I was lucky enough to be able to build myself up a support network of people I trusted and felt I could rely on. A circle of people I knew would pick up the phone at 4am, if I was in crisis or simply needed to chat. These people were friends, the parents of my friends, colleagues and people I met along the way who just genuinely cared about me and my wellbeing. My small but sturdy group of people taught me that you really can choose your family, and they chose me just as much as I chose them.

In my opinion, there is a lot more that could be, and should be, done to support Looked after children transitioning to being a Care Leaver. It can get easier as you get into the swing of things, especially if you can build up a positive relationship with your leaving care worker, but at the beginning it is really, really hard. If you are able to fashion yourself some sort of support system, I would really recommend it as I genuinely could not be without mine now.

Thanks for reading.

Rhianna x