Anyone who is care experienced knows that mental health can play a big part in your life, particularly when faced with the challenges of the care system.
While writing this I came to the realisation that I could focus on the negatives, which is really easy to do, but why should I?
Statistics show that care experienced children and young people are 4 times more likely to be living with a mental illness disorder than those that reside with their birth families. This, however, doesn’t mean that mental ill health is a given for care experienced people.
I, personally, have struggled with mental health issues since my childhood, and have had many variable experiences with my mental health and mental health support services.
My mental health struggles significantly impacted my life in all aspects, the quality of my foster care placements, my schooling, grades and my ability to engage and form meaningful relationships with those who cared about me. I have always found it difficult to express how I fell verbally, and I suppose to an extent that has posed as a barrier in accessing effective support for my mental health conditions. I have always steered more towards just briefly mentioning an issue, rather than going into what is actually wrong. I believe I have done this out of fear, and also because of not wanting to be seen as weak.
That way of thinking is negative in itself, just because you struggle occasionally (or often even) doesn’t mean that you are weak.
I found myself stumbling upon various barriers in my efforts for recovery.
Responses to my referrals were long awaited and seemed like they only came through once crisis had already hit. I found myself constantly repeating my “story” to numerous different people and never really had the opportunity to work through my trauma. The support I received was always related to what was happening at the time, when really what I needed was the chance to talk out all of my past with someone who can help me dissect it in a positive way. I was tired of repeating myself, and tired of not getting anywhere with my support, it reached the point where I disengaged completely.
Not everyone has negative experiences with mental health services. Different people have different experiences. Not all mental health issues are the same, many people struggle in different ways, which normally means that different types of treatment may work better for some than it does others. I have tried a variety of different therapies, some have worked better than others.
While my mental health still affects me daily, I have ways to manage it, creative expressive therapies have always worked for me, I use music, and art to cope. To me, the beat of a song is a chemical. It helps me to rid harmful thoughts and negative emotions. Art is a way to put on paper the thoughts in my mind. A lot of my artwork has never been seen by anyone other than myself, because they are physical manifestations of my darkest thoughts that I have put onto paper and put away.
I am pleased to say that, against all odds and personal reasons to believe, I am still here today and while sometimes I may still struggle, I now have a positive support network around me.
Thank you for reading,
- Emily
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